Part 2.a: Fear Takes Over

Starting my travels on an island might have been a mistake, because I was sure that nothing could live up to it. I headed to Mexico City with bronchitis and a terrible attitude, ready to remember Sosua with rose-colored glasses.

The city was giant, which was definitely a stark change from tiny Sosua. There was no beach, the temperature was lower, and worst of all, I was stuck in an aupair situation that I absolutely hated.

I had no opportunity to leave the neighborhood of my employers, so my first impressions of Mexico City were only gained from hours of pacing the streets of their gated community.

Within ten days, I had planned my getaway and bought a ticket to Cancun. I was sure that if I could just get to a beach, things would be better. Later, I regretted leaving Mexico City without exploring more of it first. I shouldn't have worried too much...

I landed in Cancun and immediately headed to Playa del Carmen, a small city about an hour and a half bus ride from the Cancun airport. I knew right away that this was much more my vibe: constant sun and access to stunning ocean water.

Even though I made friends pretty quickly and there was no lack of things to do, I realized that it wasn't the ocean and sun that I missed from Sosua. I hadn't acclimated to the lifestyle of a nomad. I was clinging to the idea of finding a home, while pushing myself to adventure around the world, effectively homeless. I was dealing with problems with my family back home, and I was longing to feel like I belonged somewhere.

In a bit of a panic, I bought a one-way ticket back to Sosua. I was sure that as soon as I arrived, I was going to feel at home.

The universe knew that I needed to learn a hard lesson: you can go back to a location, but you can't go back to the past. Things will always change. That's the only thing that remains the same.