Part 6.b: Homecoming

Homecoming when you no longer have a home...

I was ready to leave Panama by the time I'd boarded the plane. The peaceful time on the beach was helpful as I began my mental transition of being a single person at 53 years old for the first time since I was 16. This is when I realized I wasn't going home. I had no plan beyond the next two months. I would spend a month with Chelsea in Cartagena, Colombia and then spend a month at another Workaway post that I had lined up. Since I had left the US about 4 months earlier, I had lived out of a carry on suitcase and a backpack and this would be my life for the foreseeable future.

But here was Chelsea. My amazing daughter. Most of us are lucky enough to have the ability to create life. Some have to or choose to adopt but are still quite fortunate to be allowed the gift of caring for a child. If we are even more fortunate, we live in a way that grants us their trust, smiles, laughter and hugs. They didn’t ask to come home with us. They owe us nothing. Everything they share with us is a gift, not a payback. I am one of the lucky ones. I have known my best friend her whole life! Spending the month with her was coming home for me when I felt very homeless. Not only that, it gave me a break from the mega processing I had been doing alone...The very big feelings I indulged in because it was necessary were tempered a bit when I talked with my kids. After all, their parents were going through a divorce now and I needed to be there for them.

Cartagena was beautiful and touristy. We had a little one bedroom apartment with air conditioning. I usually don't like using climate control unless absolutely necessary-I get kinda dried out. In Cartagena we needed it so I'm glad we had it! We were walking distance from the old walled city and we often went there to walk because it was beautiful. Of course we walked and swam on the beach every day and it was here that I was beginning to think that I would have to settle somewhere on a beach to live. Where? I still had no clue but I knew how powerfully the ocean could soothe me and why would I leave that kind of therapy?

We were obsessed with the typical Colombian "meal of the day" lunches. Soup, protein, salad, rice and potato or plantain with a drink for super cheap. We often shared a meal or brought home leftovers for later.

I loved the parks and anywhere with trees. Which was everywhere really! Colombian trees, I don't know, they were just the most beautiful things I had ever seen! One day walking in a park I saw a man with a group of people around him holding a sloth! I looked at Chelsea and said, "I'm gonna hold that sloth!" She said that the guy would want money. I was like, "What wouldn't I pay?" I literally ran and asked if I could hold his sloth and he handed it right over, no questions asked. Chelsea was now also interested in my endeavor and after my terrific hug with this beautiful creature, I relented and gave her a turn. When she gave the sloth back we were really surprised to see the man put it in a nearby tree. He didn't ask for money. It wasn't his sloth!!! I have since learned that you shouldn't touch sloths because it can cause them stress. I didn't know what I didn't know. I hope I didn't cause him stress because he left me with great joy.

For our last couple of weeks my oldest kid Nicholas joined us and I really felt home! Luckily our single bedroom had a bunk bed and an extra so we didn't have to double (or triple) up at night! Nicholas enjoyed Cartagena but he really loved the weekend we took to show him Cali and since I was going away to work for a month and Chelsea had plans as well, he decided to head back and explore that city. Chelsea and I had plans to meet up in a month in...Well we'll talk about that later. Nicholas was invited to join us if he decided to stay in South America that long. For now, I was headed to a beautiful island in the Caribbean...I bet you can't guess where!